Satellite saleslady at Walmart: Ma'am how much do you pay for cable?
Me: We don't. Comcast has given us free lifetime cable because of the lawsuit.
Lady: Huh?
Me: My husband, Dave--bless his heart--almost got electrocuted while hooking up cable to our new jumbo flatscreen. He gets to watch Barney for free and I get to watch any premium movie channel. But thanks for drudging up painful memories
Me: We don't. Comcast has given us free lifetime cable because of the lawsuit.
Lady: Huh?
Me: My husband, Dave--bless his heart--almost got electrocuted while hooking up cable to our new jumbo flatscreen. He gets to watch Barney for free and I get to watch any premium movie channel. But thanks for drudging up painful memories